"No Matter What"

What is normally an overused metaphor, the expression, "Putting one foot in front of the other," has significant meaning for me over the past few months.  Regardless of my mind's relentless, usually unproductive chatter, it isn't long into a walk before this noise calms way down to a pathetic whimper. Life, once again, makes sense. One step at a time, I can start to breathe, with my mind, body and spirit.

There are many expressions that describe the zen-like results of walking - "One step at a time," "Easy Does It," and "First Things First" are but a few. These are all things we all know - but knowing does us no good if we can't use it. I've found that walking, simple walking, every day without fail, produces instant peace of mind that I can usually take with me for at least part of the day before my mind takes over.

My new mantra is "No Matter What."  There is incredible strength and power in a personal commitment, especially one that comes from disgust.  As Sonny Carrol expresses in her amazing composition "The Awakening" ...

"A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!"

Click for complete work of 'The Awakening'

"No Matter What," each day, regardless of weather or what my mind or body is telling me, I get dressed, grab my walking stick and drag my butt up the driveway and around my wonderful waterfront village of Langley (WA).  It's those first 10 steps - walking out the door that is the hardest - the rest, is a piece of cake (most of the time).

While walking across the country, I made, what I call "My deal with God." It was a simple deal really - that regardless of conditions (external and internal), my job, each day, was to strap up my boots and take at least 3 steps - just 3 steps! If I couldn't manage any more, then that's OK.  Most of the time, I would complete the 15 miles I usually walked each day. There were a few days, I turned back after those 3 steps - but not many. And one step at a time, day in and day out, 2 years later, I completed a 5200 mile solo walk from Miami to Seattle. For more info about the walk, Click ... Walk Across America.

You know, some days suck!  And I've found that on those days, it's more important than ever to do whatever I must do to get myself out that door, no matter what!  The alternative sucks even more. It's almost like a different, more disciplined 'self' steps in to assist me once I've decided to get out of my own way. It's getting to that place of commitment that's challenging - that dark place that we must reach before we declare, as Sonny Carrol stated, "ENOUGH!!!" I know that place and I'm tired of being there and have made that personal commitment, to change - no matter what.

So, if you are ever on the quiet island of Whidbey, near the quaint seaside village of Langley, you just might see me, walking around, one step at a time, smile, or not - no matter what!

For more info about what makes Louie tick, click bio

Dog Tired

Once again, I find myself totally exhausted and out of balance, struggling to juggle the elements of mind, body and spirit, trying my best to avoid a total meltdown.

Anyone who has surfed the 'Good Dog Website' knows that depression, specifically 'manic-depression' (referred to as 'Bi-Polar Disorder' these days) was the initial inspiration for creating 'The Dog.'  That was over three years ago (2/2007).  Today, 'Good Dog' is still the best tool in my toolbox for maintaining some semblance of sanity.

So what's like to have 'Bi-Polar Disorder?' 
It's sneaky and insidious - creeping up on you when you least expect it.  For me, it starts with amazing bursts of creativity where I can work endless hours with ideas frantically flowing from my mind and through my fingers onto a keyboard faster than I can type.  It feels great to be on fire - why stop a good thing?  Besides, you don't really see yourself as manic - it usually takes a good friend, in my case - my darling girlfriend, Sandy.  Even being aware of the mania does not make it any easier to slow down - like I said, why stop when you're feeling so damned good.

What goes up, must come down!  This gets me to the sneaky, insidious part.  This type of mental illness persuades you that you're OK even when you clearly see that you're not.  But the mind and body have only so much energy and when you're amped up to 200%, night and day with little sleep - you are burning some serious energy.  And that's OK, for a awhile, because your mind is flying past the symptoms of exhaustion - pushing harder and harder with no regard for the inevitable crash that always follows a manic episode.  The episodes can last for hours, days or months - you never know.

And then one day, one hour, you just sit there, at the computer and there's nothing left.  And you don't care - you can't care.  Depression settles in.

I think depression is God's way of balancing the manic episodes (my theory).  There is quiet, peace and calm in depression, offering a safe place in which to rest, to gather your thoughts and regain energy.  It is self-imposed solitude and it feels great - at first.  Just like mania, the flip side of this teeter-totter (depression) if left unchecked and allowed to get too far out of balance can lead to painful isolation.

And this is the insanity of the insanity - welcome to my world.  There are things that can be done to help - my bag of tools include: diet, exercize, medication and maintaining my sobriety (big surprise - alcoholism; many 'Bi-Polar's' have addictions from self medicating the pain). 

You would think if you knew what would make you feel better, then you would just do it!  Therein lies another cruel twist of mental illness - the illness itself attacks your ability and 'desire' to help yourself.  Implementing solutions is like swimming through mollases - in order to survive, you just have to do it, 'Acting As If' you cared - taking those first steps and allowing God to carry you for the following.  Some days are better than others.

And one of my most effective tools - Putting out the 'Daily Good Dog.' This is something I love to dod, I must do!  It allows me to make friends with amazing supportive folks from all parts of the world.  The Dog forces me to focus on positive life-affirming thoughts.  And the satisfaction of knowing that it is helping people to empower themselves - each and every day - well, that's just 'priceless.'

I've written about this current episode to explain why, from time to time, I need to shut down.  As many of you know, I treat my life as an open book - I mean why hide the truth?

Soon, I will once again start creating 'Fresh Dogs.'  Until then, May (the power of) 'The Dog' be with you.

Louie Rochon

Archives to keep you busy till I get back.

"Self Esteem"

click to see full email

Self esteem, insecurity, grandiousity, self image, self perception, self love, self respect, self worth, etc., all words describing various aspects of 'self esteem.' Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person's overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth.

And who isn't preoccupied with themselves?  Everything we do as human beings revolve around this search for meaning - our 'place' in the world, our 'role' so to speak - "How we fit."

As usual, while researching and creating this series, I absorb some of the wisdom handed down from the ages.  It always amazes me how this immense stockpile of wisdom has always been there, ready for the taking, yet we humans feel this need to have to reinvent solutions to age-old problems - the problem of the human condition.  Maybe it's lack of trust, like "Who were these guys and they are so old, their solutions cannot possibly apply to our complex world today.  What I find, repeatedly, is that their suggestions are needed more today, than ever!

So, this is the challenge - using this wisdom, owning this wisdom, on an everyday basis.  No easy task!  In fact, I feel fortunate because I digest these words 'ad nauseum' while creating 'Good Dogs.'  Yet curiously, I don't even remember these words unless I take one particular quote and carry it with me for the day - forcing myself to ask myself repeatedly, "How does this apply to me me, right now?" 

I don't know about anyone else, but I learn most effectively by doing and living with these words - applying these words - works - when I work it!  I mean, what's the alternative?  Walking through life, trying to outsmart these dead sages?  Precisely.  That's what I do and you know what - it's not working out all that well.

Louie

"Un-Stuck"

click to see full email

The holidays, for most people, are stressful.  For me, these times trigger manic-depressive episodes, often bouncing from one extreme to another (cycling) within the same day.  Naturally, whenever any of us are dealing with a threatening situation (real or imagined) - we protect ourselves the best we know how.  For me, that is isolating to my man-cave or with my undestanding girlfriend, where I feel safe.

There is a fine line between solitude and isolation with accompanying emotions of serenity to desperation.  This is where I have been for a couple weeks - hanging on. 

This week, I've started writing Good Dogs again, after a 2 week break.  For some reason it has been incredibly difficult getting started - probably the depression.  I needed to remind myself that 'Good Dog' was born in depression and literally helped saved my life - so similar to the first Dogs written 3 years ago, I offer to you fresh new Dogs for a new year with hope that it will help bring a little inspiration to the lives of many.

Happy New Year

Louie

"Awakenings" - a dedication to Nicole.

"A time comes in your life when you finally get it...

When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on.

And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening... "

"Awakenings" - a very special offering from Sonny Carroll

dedicated to a very special 'Good Dog' friend. To see the original

Good Dog email (dated 12.16.09), click here.

"Our Finest Impulses"

“Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heart-ache when we read those lines written by the hand of a master and recognize them as our own, as the tender shoots which we stifled because we lacked the faith to believe in our own powers, our own criterion of truth and beauty.

Henry Miller

Infinte Expectation of the Dawn

“We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us even in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts.”

Henry David Thoreau